inspiration

And here i am again, mulling over these ideas in my head that need yet to grow. i always, always, always find people or things that inspire me to become something "else" and i always, always, always soak in that inspiration and let it take me where ever and i always, always, always let it go. And thats why this time is different. i want to be able to look back exactly one year from now and think a)i have it or b)i had it and moving on/keeping it. "It" is quite important to me and "it" is neither a person, place, or thing. "It" is a feeling/being that i think i've needed nearly my whole life. And i promise, i'll reach "it".

On to what i've been up to lately:nothing. Except enjoying the presence of those who come to visit. And all that will be changed in a SNAP (another one of the few inspirations i've acquired lately). And today was possibly the biggest, saddest something that has happened all summer:
It starts with way back when i was 12 or 13 and my tooth decided to cause me pain and make me endure a root canal. So sad. And recently i changed dentists and found out i needed to have a crown put on my tooth. So today's dentist's visit consisted of "prepping" the tooth for the crown. Little did i know i was going to be given a shot that Mr.Dentist put in so slowly, tons of drills drilling in my ears, and the most numb face i have ever had. Boo hoo ): But luckily, my mom felt bad for not warning me about all the displeasure and finally bought my camera. Which was stolen (read the post before this one). So i've pretty much got all the gadgets i had before they all went away. Even though i had a close call with my phone (it went swimming and died for a night) and ipod (which was stuck and almost needed to "reset" it ?). Yay, we can breathe, vanessa almost has her life back(:

And something i've noticed about myself: i love learning. Yeah, weird. But everytime i'm home sick from school (or in today's case, stuck with a limp face and embarrassed to talk due to my lame lip) i always look for tv shows that are about weird history or crime shows (the real ones, not the scripted kind) or pretty much anything that will teach me something. My brain gets so restless so easily which is probably my #2 reason for my hatred of summer (#1 is heat, blegh). Which i guess isn't such a bad problem to have, i like knowing things(:

And i like being okay with myself, which i need to learn to do a bit better.