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if i could be anything right now, id be a psychic police officer with a black belt in karate and a bloodhound that can sniff out lies.

and i know why i'm having bad luck today. not only am i not wearing the glitter jelly rings i wear everyday that i got from san diego, but i'm also not wearing the bracelet andy made me that i wear everyday. why? because i'm dumb and forget things all the time. i thought i had fixed my memory already! i need to keep tabs on pretty much everything now, thankyou. and i need tracking devices and satellites on everything i own because i just cant put things where i can find/hide them.

Go analog baby, you’re so post-modern

once again, i was right about pretty much everything. at first i thought it was a bad thing. but then i realized how true that marilyn monroe quote was. (as much as i hate quotes ><) and pretty much its been one big surprise, good&bad, one after another. some werent as surprising, but others hit me like a ups truck. but even after all these things happened, i dont think id want to go back and change the outcome. because one thing i can't stand is when people go through hard times or sad times and want so badly to just go back and have it go their way, the way things were suppposed to happen. when really, all those moments have a little lesson inside of them. and instead of looking at it and learning from it, people turn the other way and stay focused in how horrible of a situation theyre in and theyre too busy to see that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to keep walking, just a bit, to be able to see it. and once you see it you'll know exactly where you're headed and know exactly how to get there.

on a lighter note, i think im going to be having the best summer.! i'll be driving, for one thing, and i get to do all this fun stuff with andy[: and were going to make a list of all those things and cross them off as we go along and hopefully by the end we'll have done almost all of those things(:

gahh!

and guess who's getting a car soon:D ahh yes i love my parents sometimes. i smell something, it smells like freedom.

find me a short film festival please! i'm dying to just watch all these meaningful, touching, heart-warming, strange, undiscovered and deep films and become inspired by all of them. i want to try and be vegetarian again! for the third time...sorry piglet):

doooooo

yess[:
so its all good. all the salt settled to the bottom of the cup half full of water.

i know i'm not going.

i know i'm not going.

i dont think im going

i dont think im going

compression

i dont know how i ended up here.
but i came across this forest with trees.
and the trees had beehives
and these beehives had bees in them.
not bad bees, cute bees. tons.
so i shook the beehive to make the cute bees come out.
so one came out to say hello.
and in the middle of our conversation,
more and more bees started coming out.
these bees won't kill me,
but i know they'll hurt.
and the sad part is,
i can't run away from them because
i don't know which way i came from.

sign the waiting list

late starts always seem to make me happy(: i always have such a nice time at ashley's house. even if we almost die at burger king. and have little asian grandma ladies tell us were crazy!

and i really think this whole week will contain the same feelings. i keep getting good news everywhere i turn. and i keep hearing the best things: best songs, best voices, best jokes, best news about dr. phil (my hero[:) i dont want to go back! i want to stay like this! but it's so hard. i can do it(:

i think i can pretty much do anything.

and i still can't wait for the future.

oh, excuse my memory

another decision changed: dont think i'll free up my schedule next year. with my luck, i'll end up being bored all day, every day. i'd rather have a guarantee of things to do. why am i so indecisive?!@ i have no clue, but it needs to change--soon.

one thing that i know i can keep my decision about is how amazing last sunday was, and how i want to live it over again everyday. i dont know if anyone gets that way about stupid things (well, it's really not that stupid. it's the best place ever.) but me and mel sure wish we had a time machine. Why do i love being in huge crowds with weird people and feeling like i know every single person? no clue, but it's pretty nice.

and i'm pretty excited about next year. Full of everything pretty much. I vow never to have a dull moment HAHA! i refuse! i will not let myself be bored, i will not let myself get lazy, i will not hold myself back like i've done the past million years of my life. it's just not an option(:

BTH#1:05-03@10.3a !!

so i'm pretty much in a great mood right now, today was nice. nothing bumped me the wrong way, every song sounds good to me, nobody got on my nerves, im pretty much getting smarter fianlly!, and i'm just excited overall. haha overall:OVERALLS ew remember those? someone buy me some! and buy me some long johns! for when it gets cold(: i love my brain.

You should've taken the offer when i put it in your hand.

Now you're asking me for that second chance back?

Too late baby, i threw it in the sand.

It washed away with the ocean of my tears, and now your sad?

calm yourself

so i decided to free up my year next year. focus on school and whatnot. mostly just have time to be with people i like. me&mel are going for a hunt to find perfect people haha. and find fun places to go with fun things to do. because i am not wasting another year. i'm going to discover things and uncover things and cover things up. i'll be driving. i'll have a job. what could go wrong, right?

this end of week+weekend were thee best with mel &family. we still can't take pictures of ourselves underwater, but thats ok. we only need like 2 good ones right? "What did i said?" bahah! and little kids and their boogie boards in the pool. and plans to go on a road trip. i'm so excited for next year, you have no idea.

and im still to missing how i used to be. i'm turning into everyone else--my biggest fear. i need to start thinking and speaking for myself again. its not good to turn into a robot. just when i was melting the aluminum already.

and music is taking over again. it's disease. but good.


i need some glasses ):
im getting my eyes checked soon. it's hard to read the computer screen and such.

real quick

san diego:fun; coming home for 5 hours then going back:fun; the rest of this weekend:fun; going back to school:bad. dont make me gooo!

i say we fight with words instead.

i really wish i could get into people hearts and make them see what i see and what everyone else sees; so much easier that way.

newcamera!
&i miss how i used to be ):

lucky number nine

so october is definitely going to go as planned!
permit test today--100%
thanks to yolanda, who gave me her test
and i ended up getting the same test[[:
i was soo close to laughing when i was taking the test HA!
luck like this comes like once every year for me haha.

what made you so scared
maybe you're mistaken for someone who cares

tomorrow i go shopping finally[: mmyay
and then rest of the week goes to mel in san diego(:
this week didnt turn out as bad as i thought.
and now i got my mom in a good mood since i did so good
which is nice too(:
ahh more happy today^^

and ps.the dmv was full of hair gel ><

straight to video

yesterday @ babmboozle
was amazingg
i really wish everyday of my life was that good
i just love being in big crowds(:
and all the energyy.
got to see some amazing people play. got 3OH!3's ass in my face. felt the sweat of Mike Busse on my hand. watched fat "skelton club kids" jump. bought cute glasses. made new favorites. got bruises on my feet from fags trying to watch chiodos. got nasty water thrown in my hair. stupid lady spilled beer on my foot. felt quite relieved. saw a dress i want for prom. got free stickers HA! made a plan to go again next year, but both days. ! and jeffree star has interesting back-up dancers haha!

tomorrow is big.
tomorrow is huge.
tomorrow depends on if november october will really be as good as it should be.

You're the element of surprise that none of us were prepared for
The dead body behind the curtain that we couldn't help but stare towards
This afternoon you were an only child and a friend to me
This evening you're not breathing you're just the seed of a memory

mel always makes my days of staying home that much better. even if my mom says she wont take me anywhere this week-__- that's fine. i'll find rides. it's really not that hard.
i cannot wait until next year. really, i cant.

and i just noticed how much music has an impact on my life. if i could live it everyday, i would. why? ha good question mister.

Something really hard to think about: how long does it take for a thought from your brain to get to your mouth? haha and how do conversations start?
ahah i love being in good moods(:

silence is golden

i've had the best and worst couple of days
my computer has finally been fixed and working right
i'm finally on spring break
hung out with fun people on friday
and today is cue with the bfffl
![:
anddd i dont have to go to that dumb baby shower my mom was going to make me go to. and she finally went and got my perfume and stuff. i just need those earphones! and cut extensions! but thats ok i dont need them right away. just soon. !

i've realized how much i love listening to people. and listening to peoples opinions. its so interesting. everyone has different thoughts inside their heads.

for the first time in my life, EVER in life, i was stressed about school. like to the point where i couldnt sleep. weird right? HA! but then we figured everything out pretty much so no more stressing for me for the most part. there's still other things i need to take care of to get rid of my stress levels and whatnot. my brain waves are out of control!

and thankyou thankyou little baby jesus for letting my itunes play. it's so nice to hear these rythms and words again(:

i always seem to have the most fun with the most random people
i absolutely love it[:
and today was quite fulfilling

take me out now, i've dropped the mast down

computer:fixed[:
so so so happy!
everything is good!
yay yay yay
can't think!
((((:
haha i feeel like watching mean girls(;