i'm getting serious

i'm full blown now. and nobody can stop me. i've got all this inspiration and all this knowledge to put to use. i know i can do this, i know i'm strong enough(: today begins a new chapter

accepted

i'm feeling a lot better today than i did the past couple of days. And it's nice to know that i'm fine just the way i am right now(:

Getting my car superr soon! Quite excited actually. And in less than 2 months i can get my license. FINALLY

Blahblahblah, inspiration is still in effect! even though it almost went away 2 days ago. But i'm back on it(:

we saw

i have recently gained the skill to block out things almost completely and i use it nearly everyday.
i have become very good at pretending to myself and others.
i have learned this thing called "holding it all in" and i'm using it multiple times a day--okay, all day.
i have more going on inside than i do outside.
inside:countless, outside:zero
i am now okay with what is going to happen to me, and i'm learning to live with it.
i no longer care about what i think.

leave

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 had such a nice line in it that sums up my last couple of months perfectly: "Cars are easy, it's people who need manuals."
Well, thankYOU.
And now i'm where i knew id end up somehow, and it really doesnt matter so much since i've been expecting it. Yeah i never come first to anyone, yeah i let people walk all over me, yeah i get pushed around, yeah i've let everyone get away with it my whole life. Am i the only one who's noticed??
At leats there's one person i can trust. That's all you need, right?

nouveau commencement

My lucky lucky cousin gets to go to medical school in New York, boo hoo i want to go! Gahh he's going to be so so smart I WANT HIS BRAIN! blehh, so there was a gooodbye party for him and it was hot and ants ate my feet ): But i somehow got new clothes:D

-i'm really starting to take a liking to Amy Winehouse and i have no idea why. Well, i do know why.
-i am quite proud of myself, i'll have to remember the date so i can celebrate in a month
-CY CY CY CY !!

hmm i'm content(:

Suck Sess

Today was going to be Adventure Day With Aaron, and oh what an adventure we had. Street fair? Eh, there were cool kids there, we left. Michaels? Got materials to make a present for me and Mel! Went home? waited for the rest of our adventure to begin, for several hours. Andy came? Followed by a call by Mel to go visit her. Oh, sadness trying to find Kim's house, finally found it. Me--> ): Went home. Made up&out. Current Me--> (: i really love how things work out for me, and how i never stay mad for long<3



inspiration is beginning to take effect!:DDDDDDD
i could scream with happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweetheart, bitter heart

Ehh, what can i say? i'm psychic. Sometimes its a good thing, so i don't get my hopes up for things that won't happen? Blehh, and i care because..?

This heat is really starting to get to me. i just want to be wrapped up in a blanket and drinking hot chocolate in the north pole right now. But no, california is the lamest hottest place and i cannot stand it! i cant wait to move-_- ..whenever that might be.

It's already 5?! Well finally time is starting to go at normal speed. And it's finally August!! weee(: Birthday in 28 days? Oh, how lovelyy. During school again, yay! And senior pictures that day too! Finally i can breath again.

I have come to realize that i'm really not. NOT NOT NOT! And nobody is changing my mind. And nothing will let me see otherwise. Maybe one day i will be. But for now, i am totally and completely NOT.